LIFE IN UNIVERSITY PART 1: FRESHMEN YEAR

When you enroll yourself in university, your mind jots down some expectations, makes up some dreams, cooks up some fantasies that are all one touch away from being shattered like a glass. But you’re an innocent soul and you believe in all the fairy tales they told you when they said “JUST THESE TWO YEARS”, and sang you the praises of university life to sleep. Unless you have older siblings and you have already witnessed the tragedy, you are very much likely to receive a big fat reality slap.

Don’t feel too moved by their little gestures of putting the WELCOME FRESHERS signs, and never fall for all the lies they tell you in orientation and do not be touched by the big words of how much they care for you and how valuable you are to them and how guaranteed your future is. Every time you feel excited, Satan laughs at you.

And the seniors, why do you think they like ragging you? When you bear so much torture you turn into a sucker for pain, and that my friend, is the first clue you need to take. The game has just begun. They might have told you they are throwing you in the pool but they never said there is a shark waiting, just hit the bottom.

The first few weeks, they take you slow, and the only fear that surrounds you is those seniors on hunt for fresh prey. Other than that, everything goes okay. But as soon as the spirit of the seniors fades away, the teachers get into action. And all of a sudden, you’re lost. Stranded on an alienated desert, with absolutely no idea of what the hell is going on. The semester system, the grading, the quizzes, the assignments, everything starts to get out of control. Your system hasn’t adapted to theirs and the result is utter confusion. And somewhere in there come the Mids. And boy, aren’t those a thing?

When you are done with the Mids, you start to breathe in the air of the university and slowly start to acknowledge your fate, and you think okay, so that’s how you’ll deal with things and while you’re busy making that plan, you feel a big thump and damn, your titanic just hit the iceberg. And there come crashing the mighty final projects, all at the same time, all so tough and y’all be drowning. And there is no Jack who’d sacrifice himself for you, just all selfish people who’d throw you to crocodiles if they have to, and the Roses that will let you drown.

And while you’re lost in that, trying to find the way out, they keep throwing all the course at you and before you can take a deep breath and sort out, finals knock at your door. And there, there, the semester’s over.

IT’S ALMOST NEW YEAR

Tick tock, look at your clock, the year is almost over.

No matter how realistic you are, this still comes as a relief. But there is a little fear, because it isn’t over yet. 2016, going once, going twice AND SOLD for being the worst year so far, for some of us, most of us. It’s not that 2016 hasn’t had any good moments, of course it did, but the bad moments cheated on their fair share and so they exceeded. Let’s all admit we hate it and want it to be over soon. We don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it anymore.

It will go away, pretty soon. But why do we wish to be done with it? Like the moment the clock strikes 12, the curse that had been put on 2016 will be lifted all of a sudden and 2017 will magically make everything just fine. I don’t wanna be the buzz kill here and murder all your hopes and slaughter your confidence, but this calendar thing, it’s man made. There is no curse, just like there is no magic out there.

Let’s not think about all the what if’s because we are already emotionally too crippled. But still, one question remains. Would 2017 be any better?

You never know what you are walking into when you congratulate yourself that you just made it through one more year. But let’s take a moment and reflect. Why? Why did 2016 have to be this bad? Why was it cursed? You think time had anything to do with it? Did nature? Think again. Can we, for a moment, think that this all might have been our own fault? That we brought it on ourselves?

Look at us; we are so lost, in our own battles, the battles that end up in blood, in pain and in misery. And we are all immune to the misery of others.  Feelings have replaced demands, lust has overcome love. Where is our humanity? Sleeping? Slumbering? Or dead? Why don’t we feel a thing? We are the deadly beasts in the worst form ever. The beasts we make up to be supernatural, there is nothing fictional in it, no fantasy, we are the beasts. There is no evil force in the aura, it’s the darkness within us, we are the evil.  So if we are doomed, we are doomed for a reason. May be it wasn’t 2016 at all, it was all us. What goes around comes around, right? So it came around, and it wasn’t pleasant, was it?

So why are we expecting 2017 to fix our problems when we are the problem. We have got to make this right, fix ourselves, find the lost souls from the abyss we left them in. Try to feel again, try to be human again. 2016 could just have been a trailer, do not wait for the movie, make your move. This is what needs to change. This is the only New Year resolution that will matter. Pin it on the top of your list. You don’t want to face the music just yet. WAKE UP, IT’S TIME TO CHANGE. WAKE UP, IT’S ALMOST NEW YEAR.

WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL.

Ever sat with a pretty friend of yours and wondered what kind of a potato you are? Ever talked to a smarty pants and felt your mental level matching that of a two years old? Ever seen so many talented people and found yourself wrapped up in an imaginary invisibility cloak? Ever been intimated by someone being good at the same thing as you? It’s okay. That’s all normal. But in case you haven’t, well, congratulation, you are a narcissistic asshole.

Intimidation, fear of being invisible, not good enough, suffering from inferiority complex, that’s a package that comes with age, and acknowledgment till you grow mature enough. But until then, you have to survive. Sometimes it’s okay to feel a little less worthy, a little less important, but that doesn’t mean you have to shift into a full-on hopeless mode. Sometimes you don’t see it, sometimes even others don’t see it but you have a gift that others lack. You have that talent buried deep inside you, carve it out.

Indeed you have flaws, we all do. The beauty isn’t in perfection. It’s in how you deal with your flaws. Step one is to accept your flaws, acknowledge your shortcomings and make peace with them. Step two is to try to focus on everything you have that plenty out there lack; fully functioning body, a home, enough to eat. If you have all that, and you are still not thankful, the only thing you’re lacking here is gratitude and my dear friend, fix that attitude. If you find it missing, then look at all the people in need and feel grateful.

Not everyone finds their special quality soon enough. Sometimes you just have to wait for someone to tell you, and that someone can come in your life anytime. And sometimes that someone is you. You are not inferior. If you love two people equally, would you give one more than the other? Would a parent be kinder to one child than the other if he loved them the same? And we are just humans, we are flawed, we can’t pull off justice perfectly, but He is the Creator, the Almighty, the Perfect, and He loves you, so why would he make you any less than others? Just because you haven’t figured it out yet doesn’t mean you don’t have it. Just wait till you discover it and then say ALHAMDOLILAH.

PEACE, NOT WAR

I don't think people today understand what war actually is. It's not just a hate story you read through in course books. And it's definitely not anything like in the movies. There is real damage. Because it's real life. Here, if you lose your Bucky, you lose him for good. Now you ain't gonna bump into him one day again. Because he is not a super soldier. Because you can't undead people in real life.
I don't know what kind of fantasy you have created in your minds. It's not a cricket match that you could just win or lose. There are no winners in war. There is no victory. Just loss. Loss of real blood. It doesn't matter whose. Humans might win a war but humanity, humanity always loses.
What do you think happens when a war breaks out? You think you'd just win it and go back to having an awesome life? Hate to break it to you but God forbid if a war breaks out, your life is over. The damage doesn't last till the war is over. It lasts a lifetime. It lasts generations.
Next time you drive through, look out and notice how normal everything appears. Notice those people standing casually carrying out their daily chores. Your city might not be perfect but it's bright and full of life. What do you think happens in wars? Nothing will be left of it.
And nuclear war? Say who you are gonna tell when there would be nobody to tell? Huh? Historians would write two nations who eradicated each other's existence on a dispute that would have been resolved otherwise.
This hatred you have, it's in your blood. But for the love of God, love your country enough to protect it. When push comes to shove we will have a war. What good does it do to ourselves? Who knows we might win. Who knows we may even get Kashmir back.
But let me ask you something, is raging out on social media gonna help get you through? People are not having civilized arguments, they are literally bashing each other and in doing so, they are crossing limits. The other day I read a tweet where an Indian had mentioned the APS Peshawar incident with "laugh as much as you can". So you are declaring us a terrorist state. Where is your own humanity? Do you think you can use other people's suffering to win an argument? How conservative can your thinking be?
Can you not, for once, resolve this incident with your minds and not the bloodlust that has been blinding you. It's for your sake and for the sake of your loved ones. War is nothing but a disaster. If they are doing so, you don't have to be like them. Show them you are better. Say no to war, not because you can't do it. But because you deserve peace.

GROWING UP

“Grow up”, they said.

“It’ll be fun”, they said.

Let me ask you something. On a scale of one to ten, how eager were you to grow up? Well, one being the lowest degree, I’d like to rate my eagerness as ZERO. I don’t know I guess I had always known what waited for us out there. And if you still haven’t figured out what I am talking about, let me spell it out for you.

“It’s a freakin’ trap.”

Does it make you sad knowing that some of the best moments of your life are the ones you don’t even remember? Back when you were the boss and everything was by your side? All you needed to do was, oh well, what does a baby need to do? That’s right. CRY. Hungry? Cry. Thirsty? Cry. Bored? Duh, cry. Cry and seek attention. Sleep all day, cry all night. Boy, those were the days.

Ever look at a baby and not feel envious? You ask me, I think babyhood is the best thing to have ever happened to anyone. Everything is so perfect. Everything you do is such a big deal. “Aww, look at that tiny little thing, I could watch her slumber all day.” “Look at those tiny little feet.” “OH MY GOD, HE TOOK HIS FIRST STEP.” “SHE JUST SAID HER FIRST WORDS, HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.” You got a fair picture of what’s it’s like to be a baby.

There was a time when people waited hours for you to say something, that something being utter nonsense. And now? Now you talk, nobody listens. Back then, they cherished your giggle. Laugh now, and you definitely end up offending someone. You cry, they roll eyes. *sighs*

But, what if, it’s not as perfect as we think it is? I mean, by far, we have all learnt how things appear so different from what they really are. For instance, how dangerous can a piece of paper be? And when the same piece of paper shows up at your desk in an examination hall, no, no, I shouldn’t be opening those gates anytime soon. What I am trying to say is that maybe it was not all good. Maybe there were times we wouldn’t have cherished remembering. Maybe we felt desperate to be understood. Maybe the pain we endured while getting our teeth wasn’t worth remembering. Or maybe we don’t remember because it makes life easier to bear.

From babyhood to childhood, things go smoothly. There is school though, but it’s not so bad. And just as when you start making peace with your life, teenage happens.

And we all have a fair idea of what teenage is like; a rollercoaster of emotions and disasters, an awkward ugly phase and a list of never ending crushes. If I be more precise, teenage is like somebody strapped you to a roller coaster and put on the “FINAL DESTINATION.” but that is still okay. ‘Cause the worse is yet to come.

You know what the difference between teenage and adulthood is? Teenage was just a motion ride while adulthood is the actual roller-coaster. It’s messier. You get a lot of surprises. Betrayals and responsibilities gift wrapped at your doorstep, delivered to you, every passing day.

And the pile of responsibilities keeps loading and loading till you start to bend under the pressure. That’s your cue to know you’re old. And before you know it, it’s all gone. You are feeble, weak, dependent. Your memory is cloudy, your judgment’s vague. You are just like a child, only in a much worse form. Because at first, you didn’t have it. Now you have lost it. Your strength, your intellect, your immunity, it all starts to fade. And so do you. The pain, oh that loneliness and pain.

Oh wait, no, don’t go for the window, there is plenty good in life. Like, like… talk to some optimist, maybe?

So, I ask you, what is it about the birthdays that excites you so much? I mean you are practically a year short to life. (I get why a pessimist would be happy). You are growing towards the age of never ending responsibilities and deceptions and harsh reality slaps, not to mention, failing health, feeble bones, weaker mechanisms. So you still excited to grow up kiddo?

A COUNTRY AS BEAUTIFUL AS ITS NAME

Rainbow, as it appeared; the little-colored flags dangling from one rooftop to the other. And among all those colors, the magnificent green flags with the crescent and the star stood out.

This all started decades ago. Almost seven decades ago. Nothing was normal. Crises had taken over and one thing led to the other. Among those streets, lived a proficient poet, a remarkable philosopher. He had this crazy idea, an idea which seemed like a day-dream, a myth. And among those streets lived another man, a legend with a power to bring the myth to life. Long story short, they did it. That idea gave birth to a very beautiful place; a place as beautiful as its name. And this is how, my friends, Pakistan came into being.

You take a piece of land from someone; you don’t exactly make it to their good books. India wasn’t the only one who lost something that day. That land was once ours until the circumstances forced us. And I might have made it sound easy, but it took more than just a great poet and a remarkable leader. We paid with the blood of our loved ones, to get this country. Those stories are heart-wrenching.

Every year, this day is a reminder of what we have been through, why we have suffered, and how much we are blessed. I remember it used to rain, every 14^th of August and they used to say it’s because of the sacrifices we have made. I remember how it made the decorated flags fall to the ground. Till one year, it stopped. It didn’t rain. Had the sacrifices lost their worth? I wondered. And I reflected that we had made them seem worthless.

Why did we need Pakistan? I tell you what, not for this. We wanted a free country because we wanted to practise. We wanted to live as Muslims. Look at us, what we have become, what we have done to ourselves and the precious land. What we have done to the blood that made this soil fertile for us. Oh Lord! What have we done?

Those mothers that sacrificed their sons, that youth that chose to die so that we can live in peace. How can we do this to them? How can you say that it’s worthless? That this country is hopeless. How? How can you say Pakistan hasn’t given you anything? How can you be so thankless?

When they paid with their lives and blood, they didn’t pay it so we can be liberals and fight each other and run after western culture and forget why we needed the country in first place. It wasn’t for us to divide and fight, we were supposed to be united, and we were supposed to pay back. When they died before they could even smell freedom, they hoped that we will make it count. But what did we do? We scattered and hated. We forgot and criticized.

Pakistan didn’t fail us. We failed Pakistan. We failed our ancestors.

So will you just put a green flag on and think you’ve done your service. Or will you stand up and actually do something that counts. Will you make their sacrifices worth something? Will you show the world why we created it?

Pakistan awaits you, to stop ruining it and start making it better. It’s your home. Make it your pride.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAKISTAN!

So the month has arrived and so has the day, time to show what a patriot you are and soon as it’s over, go back to ranting about what a mess this country is and how there is no hope because “IT’S PAKISTAN DUDE.”

We; the social media addicts. Everything has become some typed words or posted pictures for us. So just like on every birthday around, we post a few pictures and write a long ass wish for our friends. We are gonna do the same. How much we love our country, we are gonna crack jokes on how our leader tricked our neighbor’s into delaying their independence. Well, that was pretty cool. Anyway, what I am saying is that it’s okay to butter your friend and say lame stuff to please them. But like everything else, your words might not mean anything unless your actions back them up.

You know what my least favorite subject in school was or in college? Pak studies. And yet I claim to be a patriot. I am not lying I love my country. But I do lose hope. I know nothing about this country and I play absolutely no role in making it a better place. So my claim might not be a lie, but it is a hollow claim. I love you Pakistan but I am not gonna do anything for you. What can I possibly do? I am not sure.

I have seen people, mocking this country. Abusing and accusing it. It’s not Pakistan. Pakistan isn’t the problem. You are. You freakin’ useless critic, you’re the problem. When I said it’s us who are the problem someone said Pakistan is nothing without us. Wrong, we were nothing without it. Pakistan gave us a name, a relation, a relation that runs deep within our veins, just as the blood runs through them. Leave the country, go where ever, your home stays within you. Even if you have yourself convinced you hate it, there is no place like home out there.

When I was little, I remember how the streets were decorated.  The excitement I used to have, it’s no more. And even as I am writing this right now, there isn’t a flag waving on our roof top.

So ask yourself today, who is to blame? Does your home run itself or do you have to run it? What makes you think Pakistan is the problem when you’re not even trying to make it any better? It’s like staring at a glass from a distance and blaming it for not coming to you. Wake up! They thought this country wouldn’t last longer and yet these 69 years have been a slap in the face for them. I know Pakistan has been falling ever since Quaid-e-Azam passed away. But can’t you see it’s meant to be? It’s still here. It’s still out home. So for the love of God, wake up. Do something. Be someone for the country. Pakistan has given you a lot, give it something in return.

Pakistan, we’re sorry. You haven’t failed us. We have failed you.