Friday, 27 January 2017

EYE FELL, I FELL


When you enroll yourself in university, you have already had a fair share of crushes. That is, of course, the normal standard. Even if not, you are very much likely to fulfill that share.

It's not like the start of teens when you have absolutely no clue as to what is going on with you. You have literally been there done that. Now I refuse to believe anyone who claims they have never had a crush. I am no lie detector but I can tell you you're full of shit if you make that claim. Because unless you're mentally impaired or missing a heart or from an alienated world, saying you never had a crush is a big fat lie.

By the time you reach university, you're no longer shy about your crushes anymore, if you were before. And if you still are, don't worry your friends will snap you out of it. Because that, my friend, is a major if you want to graduate.

Now there are two ways you could do this. First, you spot someone yourself and it's all on you. You might show your friends and their agreement may be an enhancement factor, but it's still you. Second, is when your friends make you take the fall. Now this could go down in two ways, first they make you spot someone you have never noticed and put it in your brain about how magnificent the creature is and your heart goes like *well, we haven't had a disaster in a while so why the hell not.* and second when they start teasing you with someone for no apparent reason and your poor heart fails to take the torture anymore and slips.

Love, my friend, is a powerful drug. It's a medicine to your soul, the pulse to your heart. And crush is a temporary form of love and whatever I said is crap because love is a DISASTER.

It starts easy. You have spotted a handsome lad or a pretty girl and you think wow. Then you start looking for them just for fun. The next thing you know, you have fallen. And damn, that's bad. And once you confess it to your friends, be prepared for all kinds of situations they will throw at you. The smiles, the looks, the gestures, you can't stop them from anything. They'd rather make it rain if your crush is around. And all you have to do is pray you don't get caught.

And I don't know if you know it already but if you are looking at one person, there are three others noticing you. So before you drool over someone notice where their friends are.

And like I said, a crush isn't a crush if it's not out of your league. And I'd go out of a limb here and be a little melodramatic and say that it hurts so bad. It totally depends on how you deal with it. You want to admit or stay in denial, you want to make fun or cry your heart out, you want to tell your friends or keep it a secret but what you can't control is how long are you going to stay crushed. Oh us poor souls.

And the jealousy you sign up for, for all the living breathing creatures around the person who has absolutely no idea you even exist. Ain't human nature fascinating?

It's about time you fall out of it and restore your state of mind to normal. But until then, I pity your damned soul.

Sunday, 22 January 2017

LIFE IN UNIVERSITY: THE FRESHMEN YEAR (PART 2)

CRUSHES AND THE CROSSBOWS.

When you enroll yourself in university, chances are you haven’t met the world yet. And if you are an introvert, oh boy, life is brutal. When you enroll yourself in university, you make up some resolutions that are as hollow as the ideal concept of university life.

So you get up and you go to the university and start talking to the first person around you or you wait till someone comes to you. Now unless you are really pretty, chances of that happening are pretty rare. And for the first few days, or must I say, few weeks, it’s just the covers and not the books inside. Wanna hear something really crazy? Sometimes when you think you read the whole book, they burn the book and bring a new one. Now that sounds pretty much like a blab, but what I am saying is that you don’t get to see the people’s real faces in the freshmen year. Sometimes they wait too long, like till the last semester to show their true colors and leave you rethinking the definition of a best friend. Reality slap, too soon?

Two things you need to be on a look out for; first, beware who you call ugly in the first semester. Second, beware who you call your best friend in the freshmen year.
When you join university, you are either still a teen, or straight outta teens, either way; you are very much likely to find yourself in all kinds of trouble. The beginning is easy. You joke around, you have fun with your friends, you spot pretty hoomans and you end up developing a crush. And if your crush isn’t out of your league, it’s not a crush. If your crush isn’t out of your league, you are doing it wrong.

Crushes are fun when your friends have them. Because when you have it, it’s a disaster. And when your friend has it, you end up being more excited to see their crush than your friend. Little tip? Never tell your friends to look at someone when they are coming your way, because they will all turn around at the same time. So your crush isn’t a crush till they leave you crushed. Okay, I am exaggerating, they are not so bad. Because the best part about having a crush is, it fades away. Just like your best buddies when the mighty final projects appear and you are not a very bright mind.

Bombshell number I don’t know, when your friends are all pretty and people start developing crushes on them, ignoring your entire existence leaving you wondering if you are dead or invisible, helping you reach the height of inferiority complex, *well thank you, couldn’t have done it without you.*

But all is good because the reality kicks in a little late. So you enjoy the time before the storm comes shattering everything. But there is good in it, nothing like embarrassing yourself in front of your crush, or the talks or the fun you have with your friends. And you never know, sometimes when you turn the page on, the book gets even better.


Wednesday, 18 January 2017

LIFE IN UNIVERSITY PART 1: FRESHMEN YEAR

When you enroll yourself in university, your mind jots down some expectations, makes up some dreams, cooks up some fantasies that are all one touch away from being shattered like a glass. But you’re an innocent soul and you believe in all the fairy tales they told you when they said “JUST THESE TWO YEARS”, and sang you the praises of university life to sleep. Unless you have older siblings and you have already witnessed the tragedy, you are very much likely to receive a big fat reality slap.

Don’t feel too moved by their little gestures of putting the WELCOME FRESHERS signs, and never fall for all the lies they tell you in orientation and do not be touched by the big words of how much they care for you and how valuable you are to them and how guaranteed your future is. Every time you feel excited, Satan laughs at you.

And the seniors, why do you think they like ragging you? When you bear so much torture you turn into a sucker for pain, and that my friend, is the first clue you need to take. The game has just begun. They might have told you they are throwing you in the pool but they never said there is a shark waiting, just hit the bottom.

The first few weeks, they take you slow, and the only fear that surrounds you is those seniors on hunt for fresh prey. Other than that, everything goes okay. But as soon as the spirit of the seniors fades away, the teachers get into action. And all of a sudden, you’re lost. Stranded on an alienated desert, with absolutely no idea of what the hell is going on. The semester system, the grading, the quizzes, the assignments, everything starts to get out of control. Your system hasn’t adapted to theirs and the result is utter confusion. And somewhere in there come the Mids. And boy, aren’t those a thing?

When you are done with the Mids, you start to breathe in the air of the university and slowly start to acknowledge your fate, and you think okay, so that’s how you’ll deal with things and while you’re busy making that plan, you feel a big thump and damn, your titanic just hit the iceberg. And there come crashing the mighty final projects, all at the same time, all so tough and y’all be drowning. And there is no Jack who’d sacrifice himself for you, just all selfish people who’d throw you to crocodiles if they have to, and the Roses that will let you drown.


And while you’re lost in that, trying to find the way out, they keep throwing all the course at you and before you can take a deep breath and sort out, finals knock at your door. And there, there, the semester’s over.