Tuesday, 27 December 2016

IT’S ALMOST NEW YEAR

Tick tock, look at your clock, the year is almost over.

No matter how realistic you are, this still comes as a relief. But there is a little fear, because it isn’t over yet. 2016, going once, going twice AND SOLD for being the worst year so far, for some of us, most of us. It’s not that 2016 hasn’t had any good moments, of course it did, but the bad moments cheated on their fair share and so they exceeded. Let’s all admit we hate it and want it to be over soon. We don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it anymore.

It will go away, pretty soon. But why do we wish to be done with it? Like the moment the clock strikes 12, the curse that had been put on 2016 will be lifted all of a sudden and 2017 will magically make everything just fine. I don’t wanna be the buzz kill here and murder all your hopes and slaughter your confidence, but this calendar thing, it’s man made. There is no curse, just like there is no magic out there.

Let’s not think about all the what if’s because we are already emotionally too crippled. But still, one question remains. Would 2017 be any better?

You never know what you are walking into when you congratulate yourself that you just made it through one more year. But let’s take a moment and reflect. Why? Why did 2016 have to be this bad? Why was it cursed? You think time had anything to do with it? Did nature? Think again. Can we, for a moment, think that this all might have been our own fault? That we brought it on ourselves?

Look at us; we are so lost, in our own battles, the battles that end up in blood, in pain and in misery. And we are all immune to the misery of others.  Feelings have replaced demands, lust has overcome love. Where is our humanity? Sleeping? Slumbering? Or dead? Why don’t we feel a thing? We are the deadly beasts in the worst form ever. The beasts we make up to be supernatural, there is nothing fictional in it, no fantasy, we are the beasts. There is no evil force in the aura, it’s the darkness within us, we are the evil.  So if we are doomed, we are doomed for a reason. May be it wasn’t 2016 at all, it was all us. What goes around comes around, right? So it came around, and it wasn’t pleasant, was it?


So why are we expecting 2017 to fix our problems when we are the problem. We have got to make this right, fix ourselves, find the lost souls from the abyss we left them in. Try to feel again, try to be human again. 2016 could just have been a trailer, do not wait for the movie, make your move. This is what needs to change. This is the only New Year resolution that will matter. Pin it on the top of your list. You don’t want to face the music just yet. WAKE UP, IT’S TIME TO CHANGE. WAKE UP, IT’S ALMOST NEW YEAR.

Saturday, 10 December 2016

WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL.

Ever sat with a pretty friend of yours and wondered what kind of a potato you are? Ever talked to a smarty pants and felt your mental level matching that of a two years old? Ever seen so many talented people and found yourself wrapped up in an imaginary invisibility cloak? Ever been intimated by someone being good at the same thing as you? It’s okay. That’s all normal. But in case you haven’t, well, congratulation, you are a narcissistic asshole.

Intimidation, fear of being invisible, not good enough, suffering from inferiority complex, that’s a package that comes with age, and acknowledgment till you grow mature enough. But until then, you have to survive. Sometimes it’s okay to feel a little less worthy, a little less important, but that doesn’t mean you have to shift into a full-on hopeless mode. Sometimes you don’t see it, sometimes even others don’t see it but you have a gift that others lack. You have that talent buried deep inside you, carve it out.

Indeed you have flaws, we all do. The beauty isn’t in perfection. It’s in how you deal with your flaws. Step one is to accept your flaws, acknowledge your shortcomings and make peace with them. Step two is to try to focus on everything you have that plenty out there lack; fully functioning body, a home, enough to eat. If you have all that, and you are still not thankful, the only thing you’re lacking here is gratitude and my dear friend, fix that attitude. If you find it missing, then look at all the people in need and feel grateful.

Not everyone finds their special quality soon enough. Sometimes you just have to wait for someone to tell you, and that someone can come in your life anytime. And sometimes that someone is you. You are not inferior. If you love two people equally, would you give one more than the other? Would a parent be kinder to one child than the other if he loved them the same? And we are just humans, we are flawed, we can’t pull off justice perfectly, but He is the Creator, the Almighty, the Perfect, and He loves you, so why would he make you any less than others? Just because you haven’t figured it out yet doesn’t mean you don’t have it. Just wait till you discover it and then say ALHAMDOLILAH.


Wednesday, 12 October 2016

PEACE, NOT WAR

I don't think people today understand what war actually is. It's not just a hate story you read through in course books. And it's definitely not anything like in the movies. There is real damage. Because it's real life. Here, if you lose your Bucky, you lose him for good. Now you ain't gonna bump into him one day again. Because he is not a super soldier. Because you can't undead people in real life.
I don't know what kind of fantasy you have created in your minds. It's not a cricket match that you could just win or lose. There are no winners in war. There is no victory. Just loss. Loss of real blood. It doesn't matter whose. Humans might win a war but humanity, humanity always loses.
What do you think happens when a war breaks out? You think you'd just win it and go back to having an awesome life? Hate to break it to you but God forbid if a war breaks out, your life is over. The damage doesn't last till the war is over. It lasts a lifetime. It lasts generations.
Next time you drive through, look out and notice how normal everything appears. Notice those people standing casually carrying out their daily chores. Your city might not be perfect but it's bright and full of life. What do you think happens in wars? Nothing will be left of it.
And nuclear war? Say who you are gonna tell when there would be nobody to tell? Huh? Historians would write two nations who eradicated each other's existence on a dispute that would have been resolved otherwise.
This hatred you have, it's in your blood. But for the love of God, love your country enough to protect it. When push comes to shove we will have a war. What good does it do to ourselves? Who knows we might win. Who knows we may even get Kashmir back.
But let me ask you something, is raging out on social media gonna help get you through? People are not having civilized arguments, they are literally bashing each other and in doing so, they are crossing limits. The other day I read a tweet where an Indian had mentioned the APS Peshawar incident with "laugh as much as you can". So you are declaring us a terrorist state. Where is your own humanity? Do you think you can use other people's suffering to win an argument? How conservative can your thinking be?
Can you not, for once, resolve this incident with your minds and not the bloodlust that has been blinding you. It's for your sake and for the sake of your loved ones. War is nothing but a disaster. If they are doing so, you don't have to be like them. Show them you are better. Say no to war, not because you can't do it. But because you deserve peace.

Monday, 12 September 2016

GROWING UP

“Grow up”, they said.

“It’ll be fun”, they said.

Let me ask you something. On a scale of one to ten, how eager were you to grow up? Well, one being the lowest degree, I’d like to rate my eagerness as ZERO. I don’t know I guess I had always known what waited for us out there. And if you still haven’t figured out what I am talking about, let me spell it out for you.

“It’s a freakin’ trap.”

Does it make you sad knowing that some of the best moments of your life are the ones you don’t even remember? Back when you were the boss and everything was by your side? All you needed to do was, oh well, what does a baby need to do? That’s right. CRY. Hungry? Cry. Thirsty? Cry. Bored? Duh, cry. Cry and seek attention. Sleep all day, cry all night. Boy, those were the days.

Ever look at a baby and not feel envious? You ask me, I think babyhood is the best thing to have ever happened to anyone. Everything is so perfect. Everything you do is such a big deal. “Aww, look at that tiny little thing, I could watch her slumber all day.” “Look at those tiny little feet.” “OH MY GOD, HE TOOK HIS FIRST STEP.” “SHE JUST SAID HER FIRST WORDS, HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.” You got a fair picture of what’s it’s like to be a baby.

There was a time when people waited hours for you to say something, that something being utter nonsense. And now? Now you talk, nobody listens. Back then, they cherished your giggle. Laugh now, and you definitely end up offending someone. You cry, they roll eyes. *sighs*

But, what if, it’s not as perfect as we think it is? I mean, by far, we have all learnt how things appear so different from what they really are. For instance, how dangerous can a piece of paper be? And when the same piece of paper shows up at your desk in an examination hall, no, no, I shouldn’t be opening those gates anytime soon. What I am trying to say is that maybe it was not all good. Maybe there were times we wouldn’t have cherished remembering. Maybe we felt desperate to be understood. Maybe the pain we endured while getting our teeth wasn’t worth remembering. Or maybe we don’t remember because it makes life easier to bear.

From babyhood to childhood, things go smoothly. There is school though, but it’s not so bad. And just as when you start making peace with your life, teenage happens.

And we all have a fair idea of what teenage is like; a rollercoaster of emotions and disasters, an awkward ugly phase and a list of never ending crushes. If I be more precise, teenage is like somebody strapped you to a roller coaster and put on the “FINAL DESTINATION.” but that is still okay. ‘Cause the worse is yet to come.

You know what the difference between teenage and adulthood is? Teenage was just a motion ride while adulthood is the actual roller-coaster. It’s messier. You get a lot of surprises. Betrayals and responsibilities gift wrapped at your doorstep, delivered to you, every passing day.

And the pile of responsibilities keeps loading and loading till you start to bend under the pressure. That’s your cue to know you’re old. And before you know it, it’s all gone. You are feeble, weak, dependent. Your memory is cloudy, your judgment’s vague. You are just like a child, only in a much worse form. Because at first, you didn’t have it. Now you have lost it. Your strength, your intellect, your immunity, it all starts to fade. And so do you. The pain, oh that loneliness and pain.

Oh wait, no, don’t go for the window, there is plenty good in life. Like, like… talk to some optimist, maybe?

So, I ask you, what is it about the birthdays that excites you so much? I mean you are practically a year short to life. (I get why a pessimist would be happy). You are growing towards the age of never ending responsibilities and deceptions and harsh reality slaps, not to mention, failing health, feeble bones, weaker mechanisms. So you still excited to grow up kiddo?



Sunday, 14 August 2016

A COUNTRY AS BEAUTIFUL AS ITS NAME

Rainbow, as it appeared; the little-colored flags dangling from one rooftop to the other. And among all those colors, the magnificent green flags with the crescent and the star stood out.

This all started decades ago. Almost seven decades ago. Nothing was normal. Crises had taken over and one thing led to the other. Among those streets, lived a proficient poet, a remarkable philosopher. He had this crazy idea, an idea which seemed like a day-dream, a myth. And among those streets lived another man, a legend with a power to bring the myth to life. Long story short, they did it. That idea gave birth to a very beautiful place; a place as beautiful as its name. And this is how, my friends, Pakistan came into being.

You take a piece of land from someone; you don’t exactly make it to their good books. India wasn’t the only one who lost something that day. That land was once ours until the circumstances forced us. And I might have made it sound easy, but it took more than just a great poet and a remarkable leader. We paid with the blood of our loved ones, to get this country. Those stories are heart-wrenching.
Every year, this day is a reminder of what we have been through, why we have suffered, and how much we are blessed. I remember it used to rain, every 14th of August and they used to say it’s because of the sacrifices we have made. I remember how it made the decorated flags fall to the ground. Till one year, it stopped. It didn’t rain. Had the sacrifices lost their worth? I wondered. And I reflected that we had made them seem worthless.

Why did we need Pakistan? I tell you what, not for this. We wanted a free country because we wanted to practise. We wanted to live as Muslims. Look at us, what we have become, what we have done to ourselves and the precious land. What we have done to the blood that made this soil fertile for us. Oh Lord! What have we done?

Those mothers that sacrificed their sons, that youth that chose to die so that we can live in peace. How can we do this to them? How can you say that it’s worthless? That this country is hopeless. How? How can you say Pakistan hasn’t given you anything? How can you be so thankless?
When they paid with their lives and blood, they didn’t pay it so we can be liberals and fight each other and run after western culture and forget why we needed the country in first place. It wasn’t for us to divide and fight, we were supposed to be united, and we were supposed to pay back. When they died before they could even smell freedom, they hoped that we will make it count. But what did we do? We scattered and hated. We forgot and criticized.

Pakistan didn’t fail us. We failed Pakistan. We failed our ancestors.

So will you just put a green flag on and think you’ve done your service. Or will you stand up and actually do something that counts. Will you make their sacrifices worth something? Will you show the world why we created it?

Pakistan awaits you, to stop ruining it and start making it better. It’s your home. Make it your pride.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAKISTAN!

So the month has arrived and so has the day, time to show what a patriot you are and soon as it’s over, go back to ranting about what a mess this country is and how there is no hope because “IT’S PAKISTAN DUDE.”

We; the social media addicts. Everything has become some typed words or posted pictures for us. So just like on every birthday around, we post a few pictures and write a long ass wish for our friends. We are gonna do the same. How much we love our country, we are gonna crack jokes on how our leader tricked our neighbor’s into delaying their independence. Well, that was pretty cool. Anyway, what I am saying is that it’s okay to butter your friend and say lame stuff to please them. But like everything else, your words might not mean anything unless your actions back them up.

You know what my least favorite subject in school was or in college? Pak studies. And yet I claim to be a patriot. I am not lying I love my country. But I do lose hope. I know nothing about this country and I play absolutely no role in making it a better place. So my claim might not be a lie, but it is a hollow claim. I love you Pakistan but I am not gonna do anything for you. What can I possibly do? I am not sure.

I have seen people, mocking this country. Abusing and accusing it. It’s not Pakistan. Pakistan isn’t the problem. You are. You freakin’ useless critic, you’re the problem. When I said it’s us who are the problem someone said Pakistan is nothing without us. Wrong, we were nothing without it. Pakistan gave us a name, a relation, a relation that runs deep within our veins, just as the blood runs through them. Leave the country, go where ever, your home stays within you. Even if you have yourself convinced you hate it, there is no place like home out there.

When I was little, I remember how the streets were decorated.  The excitement I used to have, it’s no more. And even as I am writing this right now, there isn’t a flag waving on our roof top.
So ask yourself today, who is to blame? Does your home run itself or do you have to run it? What makes you think Pakistan is the problem when you’re not even trying to make it any better? It’s like staring at a glass from a distance and blaming it for not coming to you. Wake up! They thought this country wouldn’t last longer and yet these 69 years have been a slap in the face for them. I know Pakistan has been falling ever since Quaid-e-Azam passed away. But can’t you see it’s meant to be? It’s still here. It’s still out home. So for the love of God, wake up. Do something. Be someone for the country. Pakistan has given you a lot, give it something in return.


Pakistan, we’re sorry. You haven’t failed us. We have failed you.

Sunday, 31 July 2016

WHY ARE PARENTS SO WEIRD?

Ask your mother if you could order in a pizza tonight and she will tell you how they are already wasting money on your tuition. Tell her your throat is sore and she will tell you it’s because you were on your phone all day. No, your complexion isn’t going darker because you were out in the sun all day; it’s because you don’t eat what she gives you. Is it just me or does your mother also tell you how ugly you are getting because you don’t sleep early at the night? Tell your parents how you scored 99.9% and they’ll tell you how it’s not 100%. "What do you mean the whole class failed the test? Those who passed are not anybody’s children?" What even?

“Hey mom, can I go out with my friends today?”
“Ask your dad.”
“Dad, uh-“
“Ask your mother.”
When did you guys plan this move?

Ask them to plan an outing and they’ll tell you they are busy making money to throw in the garbage. It’ll take you a while to realize that you are the garbage.

You know how they say women always win the argument? Pfft, have you met a desi dad?

Freedom of speech this and freedom of speech that, bruv I am a desi kid, freedom of speech to me is as real as Santa and unicorns.

“baita, it’s your life, do whatever you want with it, just be a doctor, marry the spouse we choose, come and go at times we tell, eat what we say, sleep when we ask, beat Abdullah sahib's, Kamal sahib's , Auntie Naseem’s child and all the children that exist in the same grade as you, round the globe…*silence*, you can go to the bathroom whenever you want, though, it’s your life after all.”
Tell your parents you want to make a decision for yourself and they’ll remind you how you pulled a door that said push. I am not saying you won’t be allowed to make decisions, but they won’t be for you, they’ll be for your kids. That’s how it goes in here.

You know, I had a test recently and my father asked me why I wasn’t worried about it. The next day he said. “No pressure baita, stay calm” ...

You know how cute it is, when your parents tell the most embarrassing incident from your childhood just to amuse a bunch of people and they stare at you with such judgmental eyes measuring on a scale of one to ten, how red is your blush?

You break a glass, you break a glass. They break a glass, “Who put that glass here?”

“I am bored. Let me call a kid and give him a lecture about something.”

You know what’s funny? They won’t remember your birthday, but what they will remember is the thing you said to them 7 months ago. Apparently, that one made its way to the long-term memory and not your birthday.

Believe me, every parent, every single one of them thinks his/her kid is the worst child on the planet. If you arrange a debate on the topic "whose kid is the worst?" Trust me; they will kill to prove it’s theirs.

“Time is money and laziness is a crime, but puttar come downstairs and hand me over the glass of water that’s lying two steps away.”

“When I was your age….” And a superheroic movie begins.
 The green land of the crops
Water from tube well drops,
Buffalos around the stand
A boy from never land
Does all the chores of home
Before the rise of dawn.

What a heart-wrenching story.

They slam the door, they slam the door. You slam the door, you’re freakin’ dead.

Do I even need to mention what happens while they are trying to sleep and when you are?

“MAMA PLEASE DON’T CRY I WILL BE ALRIGHT”
“I DO NOT HAVE TIME, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT”

I can go on all day but this will never end. The weirdness will continue and you’ll keep asking; Why in the heavens and the earth do they have to be this weird.

And when you sit down to gather stuff like that, it’s like a never-ending list; Things peculiar yet familiar about them. Actions that bug you and then the other time amuse you. After all, they are your parents and this is what makes them special, the way they are, the WEIRD them. You might say sometimes that you don’t like them but you love them always and they love you, more than anything. The reason that makes them strange and odd is that they helplessly adore you. Know it or not, but that’s what makes your day, that’s what gives you a reason to smile and laugh and even cry. They are the reason you are in this world. They are the reason you have grown up this much. That’s what parents are. That’s why parents are so weird!



Thursday, 21 July 2016

IN HIS DISMAL

The dark alley that hides the monsters,
Now accompanies a man as he sits in dismay
All his hope vanishing in the gloom,
He stares at the sky but little does he see,
That everything is by his side,
Fear grips his heart, oblivion, as he sees
The shadow lies beside him,
Beaming at the moon,
How stupid is the human? Ponders the nature
With all that's around him yet he thinks he's alone
The earth that holds him,
the sky that shelters
the stars that guide,
 the moon that illuminates,
Yet his heart wails aloud as hears the nature,
Dribble down the drops as the thunder breaks the sky
And cries the nature for the human that tries
But fails to see what marvels await him,
A step, all he needs.
But the human never moves,
As the destiny awaits him,
The signs are there yet he's unable to see
Oh human, leave desires, set yourself free
Sometimes it's dark that gives you the answer,
A little pain it takes to reach the glory.
So try again human, and trying's all will it take
The future is yours and only yours to make!

Saturday, 16 July 2016

50 SHADES OF OUR SOCIETY

"HONOR"

“Why did you kill her?”

“For the sake of honor”, came the reply.

“And you think it was justified?”

“She brought disgrace to our family.”

“And a murder doesn't bring disgrace?”

“Not when it is done to save the honor.”

“And you think the honor is restored.”

“No, but no one will say we raised a characterless woman.”

“And they wouldn’t care about raising a murderer?”

“I saved the honor.” The persistent voice replied.

“But you already said it couldn’t be restored.”

“Sometimes we need to make amendments, something we don’t have a choice.”

“So you think there was no other choice than to kill her?”

“Precisely.”

“So you think humility she brought was worse than taking a life.”

-Silence.

“And if it were your son instead, if he had done the very same thing, would you have killed him too? For the sake of honor?”

"No."

"Why not?"

“Because the society never questions the honor if it’s a boy.” The answer was heard.



50 SHADES OF OUR SOCIETY

"BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID SO"

Like usual she greeted her father as he came home, but that day he didn’t reply. It was nothing unusual; he had done that many times before. Worried about what she could possibly have done, she returned to her room and busied herself. For quite some time she could hear him talking to her mother harshly but it was hard to grasp what the matter was.

After an hour when he had had his dinner, he called for her. With unease in her heart, she went to his room and followed his order to sit. Glancing at her mother, she tried to figure out what this was all about but her mother’s cold expression did no help, instead, it added to her discomfort.

“When I sent you in co-education, did I not tell you that my dignity is in your hands?” he shouted.
Scared of her father’s wrath and surprised of what was going to follow it, she clutched the sofa beneath her hands, as tightly as she could.

“You ruined my honor today, I can’t face anyone in the society now, I am ashamed I raised such a characterless girl”

A wave of anger passed through her and in a moment she felt tears rolling down her cheek.
“What have I done?” She couldn’t keep her voice down.

“Don’t raise your voice” her mother shouted.

“Look at her, now this is the way she talks to her father” she heard him yelling.

“What you have done hasn’t left us to face anyone, you filthy disgrace to this family”, the yelling continued.

“Can you imagine what I went through when I had to hear it from someone that this filth had been fooling around with guys?”

“That is an accusation” she tried to argue.

“You think I am lying? You think my friend is lying, that man is such an honorable person.”
She was shocked to see her father trusting an outside source than her.

“Who was the guy at the bus stop?” her mother inquired.

And it all became clear; she recalled waiting for the bus while a class fellow walked over to her discussing some stuff related to class. So that was what disgraced her family. She couldn’t believe this was happening.
She remembered the mockery she faced as she tried to avoid her class fellows, how she was called rude and her behavior inappropriate.
Out of the door, her brother stood listening.

Tired and shocked, she left the room but from then on she did not try to avoid anyone. What good had it done to her? She befriended boys as well but did her best to stay out of her family’s sight.

One morning, they found her dead in her bed. Her brother was gone. But a note lied beside. “FOR THE SAKE OF OUR FAMILY’S HONOR”.



Monday, 4 July 2016

HOW DID WE END UP HERE?

So as we see, Ramadan is almost over. Have you earned your place in Jannah yet? Have you earned redemption from your sins yet? Have you purified your soul yet?

Well, it should have been easier to accomplish as the "Shaytaan" is locked up. But it wasn't easy at all. You still had bad thoughts, you still slept through some prayers, you still got distracted while praying, you still lost your temper. People still did evil. People still kept killing, they still kept stealing. Why?

The devil wasn't there to drive you, to lead you astray. It was all you. Every time you sinned, it was all under your control. It was all you. You can't blame the devil this time, can you now?

Have you realized how lost you are? Because all this time it had been only you. What does the devil need to do nowadays? I wonder. I wonder and wonder. And my answer is "absolutely nothing". At least it doesn't need to work on us at all. Look at us. We are so lost. We are ruining ourselves. We don't need someone to pump us into doing evil. We are so enslaved by out heart that we follow everything it wants. We know the things we are doing are wrong but we keep going anyway. We know that death is unpredictable and we may die before our next breath. We know we are going to be held accountable for our deeds. So where is our fear?

You know what I think the devil does nowadays? He sits with popcorns in his lap and watches how we nail the job he was supposed to do. Have you wondered where have we reached?

We are lost, in darkness. Doomed in nothingness. We have fallen into an abyss wondering how we ended up here.
How do I know all this? Because I am one of them. I am lost too. I have seen people who have a bit left in them but the rest of us, we are just lost.
You know, no one but you can change that. But I feel, we lack motivation. Once in a while if you sit in an Islamic lecture, you feel your soul connecting again. You feel it coming back to life again. But we don't try. We are just waiting for something. But that something will never come. You have to take a step before it's too late. We all have to.

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

A VIEW FROM THE CEMETERY

And there stood I, beside my grave
Watched all them lying, with all but crave
Not always was it a sight to see
While bodies lied there, the souls hung free
And as they entombed, what looked like a boy
His gleaming soul came jumping with joy
And far beyond what we heard was a scream
One struggling to break through like through a bad dream,
And all at once, we stood in vain
Watching the soul suffering in pain
Not unusual it was when we heard him say
He would do better if given one more day,
There was no good but the bitter truth aghast
What all had remained now was him with his past
And behind these walls, were they all lost in the glory
Little did they know, reaching its end is their story!
                               -Zirva Shabbir

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

BETRAYED BY THE ODDS

All my life, I have always had trouble convincing people and I have always ended up as a liar, not to mention I am a terrible liar. First, I have been through the exasperating interrogations that, seriously I am neither mad nor depressed. But then I don’t blame them, it’s not really helpful to say that you are totally alright when your RB face clearly negates your statement, leaving you looking like planning to land a punch on someone’s face. True, I have landed countless punches on people’s faces in my head but as long as I am not leaving black eyes or bleeding noses behind, I am pretty much covering my tracks.
Second, my sarcasm has brought its own troubles. People don’t usually get it, some get offended. Sarcasm is an easy shot to get away with things you wanna say, especially to the ones who don’t get it. But well, there comes a price. Like when you actually compliment someone, and they “really” know you, they won’t be convinced. And if somehow, miraculously, they are convinced that you sincerely meant it, they would go like “whoa there, how did that happen?” And you eventually don’t feel like complimenting them anymore.
Third, when I have to pretend something, that’s a fail that leaves an impression, and not a very nice one. I know how to smile but let’s just say it’s not my best asset. So if once in a while I might try to betray my mind, my expressions betray me back. You can say it ends up as a lose lose situation every time. In case I have to force a smile, it comes out as so forced, or maybe it doesn’t come out at all, anyway, once again, the person is not convinced that I am actually a nice person who is as betrayed by the rude expressions as much as you were hurt by them. Okay, I might have stretched the truth, a little, at the nice part.
But besides these troubles, there is another struggle I have been through, for a while now; trying to convince people that I don’t study. Now, I might sound like a typical drama queen, and my results might support the statement. Although my graph has been going down and the university had a nice, fun time, messing me up, but my convincing skills improved or so I’d thought. Because this time I had them almost convinced that I am going to flunk and there is no otherwise. And that was no lie. But… I’ll leave it up to you to guess the rest.
Well, I have seen the drama queens who keep ranting about not studying a word. And there is a fine line that differentiates me from people like them. Like, I don’t have a hanging face when I say I am gonna  fail, I laugh when I screw up because I screw up real bad.  And if I do fail, or get bad marks you can see “I don’t give a damn” clearly printed on my face. True, I once made it to the nerdy list, though I was the last in it but who cares? I am probably kicked out from that now.
 But I guess, you can’t always get what you want. People will buy what they see and they certainly don’t see the truth and the odds never come out in my favor and I appreciate that because passing a test you thought you failed, well that is a blessing.

Monday, 13 June 2016

THINK LOGICALLY.

History is repeating itself. They say it’s the worst incident since 9/11. Once again, the name of the entire Muslim community is being dragged through the mud. What they fail to see, is that we have been through much worse. They think those people were killed because of being “gay”. Our more than 160 children were killed, what for? Being students? There is no Anti-American agenda here, there is only anti-Muslim agenda. If any of this were true, if Islam were the religion of violence, if the whole race were the terrorist, use your common sense you wouldn’t even be here today. Your ancestors would have been all dead, there would have been nobody left alive. Islam has been prevailing for 14 centuries, this hasn’t been happening for 14 centuries. This all started in the past two decades or so. Don’t be blinded by everything you see, don’t fall for everything you hear. Islam has nothing to do with any act of violence.

#Orlando


Monday, 28 March 2016

I AM NOT SURE...

I am not sure what to feel when a baby is born today. To feel happy for him or sad. Happy because that's how everyone feels. That is how it is supposed to feel. Sad because he is born in a world full of terror and lust and materialistic, selfish approach. Sad because where ever he'll go, he will be in a constant danger. Sad because he won't be able to feel the peace again. Sad because his parents will be scared to send him to school, to Masajid, to shopping centres and even to parks. Sad because he wouldn't know that brotherhood was actually a thing once. Sad because he wouldn't know that  the stream of blood that flows by, it's not natural but man made. Sad because his every step away from his parents will fall like a bombshell on them. Sad because he would never discover that the hearts that beat so fast today are because of fear and not evolution. Sad because he will be damaged to see what the world is doing to itself. Sad because his high spirits will be facing the boundaries of the worldly pursuits. Sad because he will see the world as a monster, life as just a trial, humans as just vicious creatures determined to tear each other apart. Sad because he would never find out that the villains were merely fictional, gunshots and bomb blasts only existed in movies. Sad because he would never know what his fault was. Sad because he would have no choice. Sad because he would have to accept all this. Sad because he would have to live in a living hell. I am not sure how to feel when a baby is born today!

Saturday, 26 March 2016

TYPES OF PEOPLE IN UNIVERSITY (PART-II)

Found someone scary enough in class? Maybe a hothead. You've gotta stand a mile away, for you never know what might piss them off.

Without THE FIGHT CLUB, there can't be any fun. Just give them a stimulus, grab popcorns and enjoy the show.

People don't appreciate originality nowadays. It's hard to find them. But finding the LAME ones is not at all hard. You wouldn't believe your ears when you hear the real them talking.

'Grades', the only thing people actually care about in university. There are few drama queens who would cry after every paper or quiz, about how badly they are about to fail and every result will say the opposite. Then there would be some who are going to tell everyone they scored well. Trust me, nobody cares. Not about your grades. Then there comes a catagory, who would score more than the ones they copied their paper from. And the too cool to care club. The chill party. "Neither prepared nor passing" as simple as that. And then, there is a meanie who would only come around in the time of need and pretend to be your die hard best friend till you are no longer useful to them.

Well, where there are meanies there are the minions. The poor souls everyone takes benefit from.
How can there be a class without having the ONE that everyone hates? That unbearable student makes the class complete, for there is one thing everyone has a mutual agreement on.

The one who is deprived of happiness, always sad about the things that don't even count. Those are the sad emojis of the class.

Figured out who that slow sleepy zombie type creature is in your class? No? It's probably you.
Being thrown into the world of weirdos there is some one so awkward, that stands out as the odd one out.

How can I forget the lame jokers? There is a reason why *SENSE* OF HUMOR is appreciated. Not everyone gets that. But the harder thing is, they don't realize how terrible their jokes are.

Lots of people stalk but its hideous. Those who go by the, "its called STARE AND STALK game", those are the most annoying ones. I mean, come on. For once, leave us alone.

And then there are some with the desperate need for speed. Their day can't just go, or say they can't bring themselves to function properly without satisfying their need. Hope you know what I mean.

Without a grammar nazi, exists no class. Those are the kind of people every NORMAL being tries to avoid. The problem isn't the fact that they correct you, it's the way they do it. Besides that, you just can't finish a statement without them interrupting you, pointing out where you said what wrong.
You've gotta think ten times before saying something and it's better to stay away.

There are the ones who are so lucky to be always on time. Not like they would be there before the class starts, but the quiz and the attendance, damn, how do they do it?

And there is some poor soul who always misses the thing. Gets late and pays for it.

All in all, it's all people. Weird, strange, awkward, bizarre. The common thing about them is that they are all very different, and that's the beauty of it.( other than the part where they get on your nerves and you wanna bash their heads). Enjoy the creepy heads around you and stick to the rule that people are fragile, they'll all die.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

TYPES OF PEOPLE IN UNIVERSITY (PART-I)

You know, they say choose a friend wisely. And what's wiser than choosing a friend with a DSLR? If you want to see whether they are loyal to you or to the need of a good d.p every now and then, break the news of losing the camera for good and check how many of them stick around. (Tell you what, not many).

It's not fun to have something and not be able to show it off. Like for every DSLR owner, there has to be a selfie in the mirror or some picture with the camera in hand. Same way it's not great just to be good at studies and not degrade everyone else. Right? After all, "it's not bragging if it's true".

It's not hard to find a sleepy head in any class. In fact, what's harder to find, is someone who stays awake during a whole lecture. I don't think it can be achieved without some kind of dose or something.

Most probably those, who stay awake, are known as the REMINDERS. For they are the ones to remind the teachers of the forgotten quizzes and assignments. Damn those nerds.
Depending upon the field of study you choose, the number of geeks varies. From engineering to BBA, well, you get the picture.

In every class, there has to be a wolf pack. Always together. Well, every wolf pack needs an alpha. And the betas can  be deceptive. Still, having each others' back, resolutions!
And where there is a wolf pack, there is a lone wolf. Spot a corner, spot the lone wolf. True, lone wolves can't survive. Come on, it's university. You can't survive on your own. You have gotta interact.
The made for each others or can say the happily ever afters. Every class has those two, oh, I mean too*. It's fun to spot them, unless one of them is you.

They call it, "the age". Although most of us are too lazy to get all set, like every day. But there is someone who finds the time. The fashion club.You gotta get your everything on point no matter how long it takes. Better late than ugly, right?

And then the show offs. I'd rather THE BRANDED STOCK. Now, what's the point of spending 5k on a suit and not telling anyone? Their everything is branded, from dresses to shoes and bags, even their talks. How about, for the next time you don't remove the tag?
Treat, something everyone asks for. Everyone has been asked for. But the number of treat hoarders doubles in university. For everything, they demand treat. Well, those are lucky who actually get the treat.

The SARCASTIC ones are harder to talk to, for they never answer straight...
(IF YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM, NEXT PART WILL TELL)


Saturday, 27 February 2016

WHY SO JUDGE-Y?

Ever felt disgusted by a constant gaze? Ever got nervous by a thorough examination of your outfit? 

Ever walked in front of a group as they whisper something to each other and burst out a laughter? 
That feels bad.

So, she wears jeans with hijab? Come on. What’s the point of hijab?

So, his height is short? Well, say no more.

So, she has a solemn face all the time. God ain’t she aggressive?

So, she is fat, they are old-fashioned. Blah, blah.

One word, PATHETIC.

Hijab? Her business.

Too short? Don’t worry, he wasn’t gonna marry you anyway.

Too Aggressive? Who knows, she may bite.

Why, why, why? Why so judgmental?

Let me tell you why.

It’s human nature. But there are categories to that.


One is judging as in, first impression, second impression and all. But one is judging and criticizing and mocking, well if you lie in that category, your life sucks. Wait, if you even have one.
Why do people judge, ever wondered?

It's guilty conscience, it’s the bug inside you.

Admit or not, but it’s the complex inside you, be it inferiority or superiority, both mean the same.
Why do you need to judge others and not yourself?

Because you are too afraid to accept what you’ll find.

That disagreement you have with your soul, that dissatisfaction you have in your heart, that’s the reason you judge.

When you comment on someone, it's more for the sake of convincing yourself. Apparently it seems like gossip. But deep, deep inside, you are trying to convince your heart. You are trying to make yourself feel better about yourself.
You are trying to prove you’re better than them.

But the truth, truth is, you are worse.

Every time you make a judgment, your heart despises you more. You may not be able to see it, but it happens.
That cliché ‘’Don’t judge a book by its cover’’. That is just a cliché.

Covers attract, covers repel. It’s the cover that may lead you into a huge mess and it’s the cover that can keep you from discovering what’s beneath it. Something wonderful

After all, if they had judged the oyster by it shell, would they have ever discovered the pearl that resides within?
Judge yourself before you make a judgment on someone else. Your eye can tell a lie. Nothing is what it looks like. The sooner you realize that, the sooner there will be less misanthropes out there.

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

YES, I'M A SERIAL KILLER. PROBLEM?

Either you are the sad face or you have been afraid of the mad face. There is no in between.
If I put that in the dollar terms;
If I receive a coin for every time someone asked me why so sad or mad, I, probably, would have been the richest person alive.
"Why are you so sad?''
"Why are you always angry?''
''Dude, why so serious?''
''Do you ever smile?'' "Nah, never learnt how to''.
SERIOUSLY, not my fault my smile is invisible, at least, I think I'm smiling, and if it gives you the impression that I am gonna kill you, who knows, I might.
Oh, do I look arrogant? aggressive? egoistic? sad? mad? Well, yeah, it's printed on my face isn't it?
You do know that I bite. Right? And you also know I shoot people in the face because that's all written on my face. Just like its written on everyone's face what they feel and think?
Just because my angry face game is always on point, doesn't mean I am the culprit, it makes me the victim.

See, it’s not easy to convince someone that you are smiling when they can't see it on your face. But trust me, there is a smile, like really big one.
See, I am not sad or mad or serious, it’s just, my output comes a little messed up.
Let me settle this matter, once and for all;
It's the FACE, the EXPRESSIONS, it’s not my fault.
That ''READY TO KILL FACE''
Yep, I have it.
How do I convince people that I am not what I always seem? I am not the sad emoji. I am not serious 24/7. I am not about to cry, that's always gonna be there, I was naturally gifted with an ability to repel people, works like a charm for a misanthrope, though. And it’s probably useless to try explaining.
So why bother?
I look mad, whatever. I am mad, I am really aggressive. Yes, I am a serial killer, got a problem with that? Deal with it!

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

LOGIC? WHAT LOGIC?

''I am so fat'', she will say, over and over again, till you stop bothering to tell her that she's not. No matter how many times she says she will start a diet, she will NEVER do so.
When she says something bad about herself, she is looking for a compliment in return. Trust me, she will keep insisting but don't fall for it, it's a trap. Say the opposite or she'll hate you forever.
When a girl says may be, she may mean 'Yes', (but don't wanna sound too desperate), she may mean 'No' (but don't wanna sound too rude) or she may mean 'Maybe', you never know.
How to know that a woman is mad at you?
Simply, she may seem a little off, or she may seem totally usual. See? that easy.
Mood swings? No, just that, she might go from you're love to don't ever show me your face again. But you surely saw that coming, didn't you?

Winning is winning. After all, ''All is well that ends well'', she could go to any length to win the argument. See, an argument is all about consistency and the fact that how long could you go with throwing words at each other and hoping that they would make some sense. But then again, if it doesn't make any sense, who cares, the game is still on. The other side will probably drop.
When she says, she doesn't have anything to wear, don't tell her, her closet is full, take her shopping.
Women!
Don't ask her WHY? Because she is a girl, that's why.
If she hates you, it's possible she doesn't have any reason for that, she will just be like ''NO'' whenever you come around.

What do you mean 'it says that in dictionary' , a girl barely means what she says.
Logic? You bet!
You don't understand her? No worries, she doesn't either.
A woman's brain is like math, pointless with so many stupid problems.
You think being a girl is easy? Try having a mumbo jumbo combination of thousands of thoughts all day long, and try to stay NORMAL.
She doesn't forget because her memory is weak, she forgets because she's too pre-occupied at the moment.
You still think being a girl is easy? Try the experience of brushing or straightening long, long hair, or even try putting them in a ponytail. Experience the struggles of pulling the hair out. Or waking up with a monstrous little devious pimple on your face, just the day before a party, or a big event, EVERY SINGLE TIME. Or the battle of putting the eyeliner
equally on both sides. Or the fear that haunts you all month long when you grow out of your favorite outfit. Or denying constantly that you are jealous. It's not easy!
She may cry without a reason, or she may laugh at a really old joke, she might even over-react to something small. Whatsoever, she is still happy. With all the struggles of heart and battles of mind, she still flashes a smile, she walks around okay. Don't ask why, because she's a girl, that's why.



Thursday, 4 February 2016

WHAT’S STOPPING YOU?

''I can undoubtedly say that I am caged by my body, but my mind is free and so is my soul and so is my spirit. I can still dream big, I can still think big, I can still aim high, I can still aspire to inspire''.
                                                                                                     -MUNIBA MAZARI
Imagine having an ability and losing it after being totally dependent on it. Every day we walk, at times, we run, we jump, and even if we are not doing anything, just sitting idle, we can move up and down, side by side. We don't have to worry about having no control over some piece of flesh of our own body.
Sometimes, when your doctor asks you to stay still, it annoys you after a while, because you want to move. For someone who can't, imagine the struggle they go through every day to bury the desire in the heart.

Not having an ability from the birth is unimaginable but losing it after having a taste of what it’s like, you need a lot more courage to move on. Waking up to blindness or immobility, nature has its own ways of testing people. For once try putting yourself in their shoes, it will give you goosebumps. And yet look at how ungrateful we are.
At the age of 21, she met an accident on her way from Baluchistan to her hometown, Rahim yar khan. her car fell into a deep ditch. People tried to help her and pulled her out while she was unconscious and due to their ignorance her spinal injury turned into the permanent paralysis of her lower limbs. But she doesn't complain because she hasn't done anything for the betterment of the area. she began a new life as she sat in the wheelchair for the first time, and she is winning hearts today. Not because she has a disability but because she has a strength. Her freedom of soul and spirit, her optimism. Muniba Mazari, the iron lady, has lived a new life, she hasn't let the limits of her body invade the limitlessness of her mind.
Now take a moment to think what we do? we fail once, we give up. We blame other things. we constantly complain. We ask for more. We are devastated if we lose something or fail to achieve something. We consider ourselves unable to do big. We, the thankless ungrateful creatures.
Someone's disability is not his/her inability. When God takes away something from you, he gives you something in return. When He closes one door, he opens another one for you. but it’s up to you, whether you keep sitting and mourning over the closed door, or seek your way through another. 
There is always another way, there is always another chance, another opportunity knocking at your door. There is always light ahead of darkness. There is always water in the desert, only you have to find it. A reason for every cause, a solution for every problem exists, you have to open your eyes to it.
People are making their ways through the unattended paths, the paths nobody knew existed. The paths no one thought will lead to destiny.
Turn your weakness into strength and you will find doors opening for you.
"Be grateful for what you have and trust me you will always end up having more.''
                                                                                               -MUNIBA MAZARI
                                                                                           



Saturday, 16 January 2016

LIFE OF A STRESS HOARDER

There are people who have real problems, but they don't want to draw any attention to themselves. They deal with it themselves, quietly. And they do just fine in their life. Then there are people who ignore the problem staring right back in the face, until it goes away. Those are my favorite kind of people. Then there are people, who like to make an issue out of every thing. Those are the least favorite kind, or are competing for the spot
.
''Couldn't be worse''

''My life is a mess''

''Oh you don't know how much problems i have at the moment''

No, I don't but l do have a solution for you. Why don't you leave the planet, Please. GOD.

People are weird.

Part of human nature is that no one is ever satisfied with his life, they will always have a problem. They will always ask for more. People, they never learn. But that's okay to some extent, as long as they don't keep whining about it.

I have met people who have this super ability to hoard as much stress as they can gather. For instance, the conversation didn't go the way they planned it, or there is a class test tomorrow, or say the apple didn't turn out to be that red. It's like they wait for the moment. As if they haven't ever seen a moment of joy in their life, or they think the joy isn't for them. Their level of pessimism deserves a medal.

Every one has problems in life but not everyone creates an issue out of it. Not everyone chooses to tell the whole world how upset they are, or what kind of miserable lemons their lives are throwing at them. Talking about a problem isn't a bad thing as long as there is a ''problem''.

Being friends with such people costs a big fortune; peace of your mind, being on the top of the list. Not only you feel like you are obligated to soothe them, for you are guilty of committing the very crime of choosing to be friends with them in the first place, but also you have to be there for them to listen, or you are not doing much of a duty of a friend.

And as you set up your mind to save your friend the misery of dying under a stress that's not even a big deal, you jump in the pool to pull them out but you get attacked by a shark instead. Next thing you know your friend doesn't want to get out of water, one way or the other, but you have got your brain half eaten, but that's your fault, and since your friend has got other things to worry about, other very important things that matter, why give them the headache that your brain is bleeding? that poor soul has enough tragedies to live through.

Well, well, they survive. Turns out they have an extra compartment for useful stuff like that. While you, on the other hand, you don't know how much of a problem it is if they spelled 'their as there' in their language assignment and their whole life is falling apart. You just, don't know.

There is no ending to their misery, because they don't wanna get out of it. It's what they live for. They will always seek more and they will always find it.

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

LIFE OF A PINKY TOE

Damn it, every time, like every single time, you screw up, and the poor pinky toe has to face the outcome. And trust me, it really really, oh boy, really hurts. Every time you are careless, like every time. Point is, why the poor pinky? perks of being the smallest or perks of being the last one?

Recently, I could relate myself to this poor little toe, for, I happen to be the "last one".

I don't know, but all my life I have known that the youngest ones are the most awed by parents, they are more of a spotlight, so there comes the stubborn attitude of them. Weirdly, that isn't my case. My case, well, like I said I am the pinky toe.

My parents wanted, at least, one doctor in the family, but the older three, well let's just say they flew away, the reactions were fine because, because there was still some hope, because there was "one last chance''. And that one last chance happens to be, well, I'll let you do the math.

Now I have no problem being a doctor, if someone else could do the study part for me, cause that's not in my damn nature, that hard work, that burden, that pressure, God I can't take it. but I can't possibly explain that to them or anyone out there because they think I can.

You know, the older ones really get to get away with stuff, and even if they do get caught, guess who gets trapped in the curfew with them, yeah you. It really matters what kind of impression the older ones are leaving because that's the standard you are going to be judged on. Now if you are not as good as they are, boy, you have signed up for the taunts for life, and if they happen to be the pain in the ass, which, for instance, you thought, was a good thing, because you are not as purely evil as they are, so your parents must be proud, eh, no, because the older one is a devil, it leaves your parents in a constant fear that the younger one might follow suit.

Being the youngest isn't always fun, I guess. When the time comes to face the music, you'd really wish there was someone after you.

Someone who could take the journey to fulfill your parents dreams, or someone you could shout on after being yelled at by the older party. Someone you get to be bossy on too, but that's how it is.

Still there is some beauty of it, a lot of beauty, in fact. At least, you don't have to worry about the company. The maturity, the reality, you see it beforehand, well that is positive. I must admit your siblings do put some sense into you and save you quite an embarrassment at times, for they had already embarrassed themselves. There is a charm to it. And yeah, its way better than being the middle child. Poor them.

Friday, 8 January 2016

LOST DREAMER

She wanted to be an artist, but nobody cared, because she could do better than that, as they thought. Deep inside she had guilt, she felt like she owed their family at least this much, to give up her dream and be something they wanted to see her becoming. Deep deep inside that dream was sparking a flame, but she kept resisting it until it turned into the lava of tears and fuming desires. Pursuing her dream could be mean to everyone, after all what they had done for her, that was nothing compared to this. After all, she could always be an artist, she had herself convinced.

After rotting herself for years, trying to live someone else's dream, constantly reminding herself, how much this means to them, how much they mean to her, she created a perfect daughter, a perfect sister, a perfect everything but a perfect herself.

She got a degree, made her family proud but till then, that artist was long gone, long buried under the ashes of her dreams, that artist was now no more. Everyone was proud of her, her father, her mother, her siblings. They knew what she gained, they never knew what she lost.

She lost herself, she lost her dream, she lost who she was meant to be. Because it didn't matter to anyone. She was perfectly normal. She led a life, but she never "lived" a life.

She gained everyone's consent and that made her happy, so she kept ignoring that perplexed feeling, not knowing what it was, she spent her entire life like that. She missed that artist sometimes but it didn't hurt as much as it did once.

In her death bed, she realized what she had lost, she recognized that feeling, coming back with much more pain, this time, she realized she had murdered someone, an artist. She had killed herself, long time ago. Tears drained the shine of her eyes.

Long after she was gone, her parents talked about her proudly, gushing how pleased they were, of her, they never knew what that artist meant to her because she never told them what her dream was. They never found out she had a dream too.!

THE BEARER OF THE BAD NEWS

I have been hated and worse. I have been despised. Remorse, I have been forced to feel, For not who I am as a person, But for wha...